It has been forever and a day (well, ok, six month only) since I have posted and there is a lot to catch up on, but frankly I don’t know that all of the crap I’ve gone through this last 6 months is worth blogging, so I’ll stick with the stuff that could be, and go from there.
With the new year I’ve tried to turn over new leaves and start a new life – one that doesn’t have stress, anxiety and bullshit in it. Funny how even when you deliberately choose to leave those things behind in your life, they follow you anyway.
I started going to drum circles at a local store here in Ocala (Realms Beyond ) and met up with Brian Morse, who has been involved with Shining Wheel Pagan Chorus and has been a musician for most of his life, I believe. He was wanting to start a band, called Treblehawk, and needed a bass player. I’d always wanted to do that, so I traded my Ibanez 12-string in for a Fender Squier jazz bass and went from there. I really enjoyed the music that we created and things were going fine with the folks he brought into the band, until the ugly head of judgement and ego came in and frankly, I wasn’t there for “competition” – it isn’t what music is for me – and so I left. It was fun while it lasted, but…… my music is to make me happy, and not to stress me out or give me unending anxiety, and that is what was happening so it was simply better if I just went. Apparently I didn’t make that much of an impact with the band as no one said “oh sorry to see you go we’ll really miss you.” Kinda the story of my life.
So now I’m playing music for me — learning songs and writing songs and enjoying my time. I play WoW again, and have some Horde toons that I’m enjoying.
Physically I’m still all fucked up. Since I ran out of cannibis 2 weeks ago my restless leg syndrome has come back, as has a lot of my nerve pain. I asked those that I knew who partake, and for some reason no one could help me out (either didn’t answer me or flat out said no). Nice friends. I then ordered from legalbuds.com, and well, suffice to say it isn’t what they sell it to be. So now I have this crap I’m trying to use until we can get enough cash for me to go out and try to find what Does help me. Then, this last weekend, I had people say to me “oh you should have let me know! I know someone!”. I told them I Did ask them, and they said “oh I never saw that e-mail/post”. Ok. Sure. Gotcha.
So sometimes I’m really upbeat and positive, but most of the time I’m depressed and angry at life. I try not to be, because negativity only breeds negativity – but it seems to be the easier road to walk.
